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| cowards; they're popping up all over the place like cases of the swine flu. cowards don't deserve to be capitalized when they start off the sentence. cowards are bullies who retreat when they meet opposition, when they are confronted face to face But you, you can't look someone in the eye when confronted. That's real macho!
And why is it that I have an attitude when I stand up for myself?
I like order. I like to see a black and a white. I live more secure and creatively within boundaries. Keeping things fresh is when you create shock and awe from within those boundaries. I get scolded for doing the same thing over and over again when I'm told I'm "not doing it the way it always was." . . . but I am? Did you forget how it was? Maybe you changed it, but fess up to the fact if you did. Write it down; ink is permanent, the law, the rule book. I can't follow an unexpressed idea, nor will I ever follow it. "Well, I always just send in $35 dollars to that bill. That's what I thought was right. / But sir, the amount is for $65 a month. / No, That's how I've been doing it. Let's keep it that way."
Everything stated here is what you based "our" friendship on. I guess we haven't rubbed off on each other, or the wrong stuff has? 3 years and I feel as though I was taken advantage of. I know you have all the answers, because you've told me that my opinions don't matter. Maybe my experiences, and many others, were "solitary" cases, completely unrelated?
You're future is about as promising as a blank sheet of paper. It's full of empty lines, lacking purpose and lacking fulfillment. A watermark is about the best thing you have going for your page, but a watermark is only visible when you allow it to be. People won't look for a watermark. Most deem it irrelevant and worthless. You have a dream, but you have your head in the clouds. You can't move when you're feet aren't touching the ground. You have a champagne sweetened tooth and water does nothing for the fix. What you value the most is evident and it won't go with you in the end. Come back down and start again. No one would blame you or hold it against you. Iron sharpens iron; rocks tumble to smooth out the rough edges. A cut diamond is more valuable than one that lacks the handwork of a master jeweler. Mud on the potter's wheel needs to allow to be shaped and fired in the kiln. The muscles will tire when strained though show results in the end. All this will hurt though will be worth the pain.
I reluctantly cringe when you say that you don't want this to effect our friendship, because this is a bruise, a crack, a low blow. It's a heart condition; and I dare ask you where your heart is at, it's cowardly shaking in the corner like every bully ends up at some time.
Or am I giving a biased version of the story?
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| When it comes to things like "I need someone to help me with . . ." I am first on the list.
Josh is a sucker. Josh is a pushover. Josh can be talked into anything. Josh will do it for you.
I find it disturbing in the least that is how the church sees it. They get all their feathers up in a ruffle when you say no. Are you kidding me? I don't have the tolerance for this anymore. Yes, you should give of your time and talents unto the Lord, but to act as though you've been crucified because I have my hands full?
But when it comes to friends, i seem to get the shorter end of the stick. I'm still first, but I'm first to give. I'm the one who has to drive, I'm the one who has to "better" his musical skills, I'm the one who has to pay for meals, I'm the one who has to do everything to keep your convenience level at a high.
Thankfully it's not always this way, but it seems to continually be in a climb. It's just that when it's time for the things that EVERYONE would like to be first in, I'm coming in at second to last. I know there are those less fortunate than me, and as evil as it sounds, I'm thankful I'm not the less fortunate. It's just that I would love at times to be the chased, to be the prize, to be first on the list.
As for now, I'll accept with humility what I have and keep on dreaming. | | |
| You have to find a way to continue on, whether you're between a rock and a hard place or you've found comfort. Even a flower finds a way to grow through a crack in the sidewalk.
Be a wildflower. | | |
| 2 years? wow, it's been 2 years.
you can mature a lot in 2 years, and some things never change as well.
i doubt that anyone that i found through xanga when it was in it's prime is still around.
maybe a clean slate is overdue?
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| went to see Mae last night
why yes! yes it was a great time
Love Drug opened, and they put on a good show
Mae, they were just awesome, they were so much better than the last time I saw them, they really have grown so much as a band, they are just awesome
too bad that both times I saw them they were at the croc, that place sucks, but has a cute bartender girl
NO I DON'T DRINK | | |
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